chapter 5

chapter 5 – Dragons Hunt

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In a full moon night the king invited me to join him for a Dragons hunt.

“Kings does that every once in a while” He said like we are talking about playing squash. “Especially in full moon nights.”

Before we hit the roads I made us some artichokes. Our first this year in the kitchen of the apartment that the royal couple got when they arrived Israel. When I spilled the water into the sink they didn’t drain. “a blocking” I said “Should I call a plumber?”

“do you have an extra artichoke for him?” asked the king . I said no. “So why don’t we eat first this blocking is running nowhere”.

Once we finished eating I suggested to take care for this blocking so we can have some time for the curious dragon’s hunting. “I suggest you take a rest” he said “drink coffee. Digest. It’s not good to open a sink blocking on a full stomach.”

“I’m sorry” I replied. “We have a little misunderstanding here. I am not going to fix any blocking. What I’m willing to do is to find a plumber that will solve this problem in few minutes.”

“Where is the fun? Think about it if you would have ordered a chef to cook my artichokes?”

“With all do respect” I said and started searching the telephone guide. “This is a ridiculous comparing. First – cooking is fun. Opening blockings is repulsive. Second – I know how to cook but I don’t know how to open blockings.”

“You are wrong my friend. This block opening is about to be one of the most important things you will do in the nearest future and you will be glad to find out that you do know how to.”

Your honor” I raised my voice. Her majesty looked toward me like you watch a cat trying to hunt the sun rays. “I have accepted gladly to cover the royal visit but I’m not planning to open any blocks or to wash your dishes.”

“You already washed the dishes” He reminded me kindly.

Well OK, but sink block’s not I’m not one of your citizens.”

The king made us coffee. Her royalty set at the table with a painting book and started mix water-colors.

“I have no citizens” he said “And I don’t expect no one to do something against his will for me. But since I’m a king it’s always happen that what people want to do serve my will. Maybe because I want people to do what they want.”

“Nice. And I don’t want to open this blocking.”

“It has nothing to with will. You already said you can’t open a blocking. Can’t. Never. You don’t have a free will here, you are not acting out of choice like a king, you are choosing out of fear and helplessness like a victim.”

At some points, this entire situation with Badulina’s king looks absurd to me. One freak that claim to rule over few thousand people and at the age 27 (according to his passport) sitting and tell me what I want and what I’m scared from.

“The society you grew in” he is explaining in a friendly relaxing voice, while his green eyes not letting me escape “Is nurturing needy creatures, helpless. That is how you create a world of victims. No one can get alone, right in the beginning of high-school you need to have a minimum list of things you already familiar with and the rest – you can’t. Entire departments are locked for you. If you wish to become king you need to open these departments and to find out that you are king there, same like cooking and writing, these are our dragons.”

“I don’t want to be a king” I said with a little voice “and I don’t want to open blockings.”

Her royalty covered partly the upper part of the paper with Torques color. “I have a suggestion for you” said the king when the coffee was done. “I will join you at the kitchen while you are opening it and Ill tell you a story. When we reach the end of it you will be someone else. Someone who doesn’t say any more: ‘I can’t open blockings’. And with a little luck maybe someone that will never say ‘I cant’ any more.”

There was no chance to convince me. I have a worldly reputation as an anti-plumber.

“The light here isn’t good for my paintings” said the queen quietly, silently, mainly to herself, “I continue paint in the kitchen.”
For few seconds I was left alone with the king at the living room and we heard her singing Badulinian song from the kitchen.

“I hope you story worth it” I said and we went to the kitchen.

“It was years ago” opened the king, leaning on the table next to his queen “before I was a king.” I opened the kitchen’s closet’s door instinctively quit breathing. “Not like that” said the king “You lose before the opening. Dance instead of fighting.” I found a couple of yellow plastic gloves. There was no smell, not for the meantime. The pipes there were all plastic and I assumed that the only tool I will need now is the bucket that was standing right there under the pipes. Now all I got left is to take it apart ad check where is the blocking and then dance with all the shit that was piling up there.

“The queen chose me as nominee to rule next to her. It is costumed at our place that before someone becomes a king he goes through initiation journey. This journey has no predefined rules of course. No one even has to be there to watch it but by the end of it you can see a king. I was not surprise the queen chose me. I knew I was a natural born prince. But up to then I didn’t accepted completely my limitless ability to control my life. Most cases I was in control but her and there circumstances dictated my state and a king can’t have this not even once. So I went to Mexico for timeless period. On the way there I was still fantasizing on some “Don-Juan” that will make me drink psychedelic drugs and will give me speed curse in shamanism like Carlos Castaneda but once I arrived there I forgot all that I bought myself a used Jeep – I think it was stolen from some Yappy across the American border few years ago and I started traveling.

Once before I dived into the Aphelia I encouraged myself with the golden sun that started mix with the torques sky of her royalty and then I went to screw out the lower plunge of the pipe above the bucket hoping secretly that the screw will be too tight ad we need someone with professional tools. But the screw smoothly slipped and a moment later a flash of brown water spilled into my bucket. I can’t swear I kept a dancer expression.

“Our story begins at Sonora desert” continued the king and I held his lyrics in order to try not imagining what turned the water in that pipe so brown colored. “At 49 degrees in shadow. Flat tire. The nearest road is 19 Km away from me. The nearest person is 23 Km away from me. I know him. Don- Fernandez . A mixed native that lived on few hundred Dunam. At the heart of the desert, the rest of his ancient lost tribe land. You can reach there only with trucks and persistency but there is a good reason for that: out of a huge colored rocks bursts a hot water springs, about 2 million liter per hour. During the years Fernandez and sons dogged a huge pull out ther built hidden huts among the palm trees and rest of the planets that flowered around and dogged small halls for the water.

At winter is hard to imagine a more indulging paradise in a pleasant temperature with a private hot tab of mineral water. At summer it supposes to be like hell and I was the only nut-case there except Don Fernandez, his wife and his sun. I thought that hell will be my initiation journey but the week I had there was great. I found a way to make my back fill with mildly hot water and that way I could pass entire days like a huge Salamander naked in the water observing all the little animals that came to drink thinking about my life and at nights I was sitting with Don Fernandez flashes liters of cold Mexican beer.”

Me on the other hand was flashing now liters of brown-black dirt out of the pipe parts, I always believed Ill die at old age before Ill have such an intimate meeting with any plumbing system. I went up to inhale some air and I saw hot water springing on pink rocks at her royalty painting and out of them came hot vipers. I took another part from the pipe with much confidence, the king continued.

“Any way, that week finished with no royal test, I was supposed to fly back to Badulina within two days to prepare my love celebrations with my queen and there I am, In the middle of the road and the top hit and my tire is flat. Actually its not suppose to be a big test, to change a tire, even in that climate but the gods interfered for me and took care that two weeks earlier while I was sleeping on some beach, someone stole my tools include my jack and the screw driver. That mean I have no way to change the tire, there is no chance someone will pass around – Don Fernandez use to bring groceries ones in two weeks and came back just yesterday – and there is no shadow in 15 Km Radius from my truck, with about 12% gasoline left in it. Just enough for two hours air-condition if you don’t drive, later it will be possible to bake pizza in this black thin box.”

The next part I took was less dirty and I found that I can clean it without actually touch it, I could visualize how soon the water will float freely and easily and thanks to me.

“I opened the door and got a hammer shock on my head. 49 degrees at shadow, but this desert doesn’t remember what is shadow. At sun the temperature there is around 60. I pushed the air until I reached to the left back wheel that looked like melting chewing-gum. I did the only think I could due to that situation: I kicked the wheel and crawled back in to the car to the air-condition. I was out less then a minute and you could already squish liters of sweat out of my clothes. I remember Don Fernandez telling me about the day that he was working in the sun and drank a lot and almost died: apparently the body can’t stand for the transaction shock and ther for it better to drink liquid slowly. It was time to estimate the situation and that what I found:

A) I have to change the wheel in less then two hours so I can get alive from that.

B) I have to solve it myself.

C) Its clear that I will make it I just have to find out how.“

Meanwhile I was doing a great progress. I was already with the last part that wasn’t that dirty. Soon Ill put it all together and before this story ends the water will float like wine. I piped into her royalty painting. Out of the vipers came sharper wings.

“One of the keys to handle an impassible mission is to divide it to little parts. Let’s say before you ask yourself if you can kill a dragon you have to take good shoes for the searching journey. No one can replace a wheel in a heavy truck without jack and screw driver at a deathly heat. Ok. But can I do the first step- to unscrew the screws? A screw driver I didn’t have. I set in front of the air-condition and then I remembered: at the San-Juan market I bought one of those multipliable pocketknives that are so stylish now: Lederman. So far I used it only twice: the first was a bottle opener for beer and there was also a round screw that fit exactly for pressing the mix in my joints. But now I also remembered that every time you open this screw there are two clamps that jumps out. A toy player. I took it out and went to the wheel again. I bent toward it, my hand were silky sweat and tried to open. The harder I tried I didn’t have enough power to release the screws, that player was really short and I couldn’t press it too much. I drag myself back to the air-condition to think. It was clear to me that I mustn’t stay one over second out there. A stone I decided a big stone to hit the handle of the player like a hammer. Stoned it that desert is usually the roof of the most poisoning creatures in the world. I picked a stone, kicked it and jumped back. I saw a yellow centipede swarm nervously and disappeared in a narrow tunnel. I took the stone and hammered on the player. It moved. It worked!”

I was very happy that the king is getting by in the desert almost as I doing well with my dragon right here and started to put the pipes back.

“After every screw I came back to the air-condition to cool and drink a little, until all 4 screws were out I was exhausted and pleased with myself. On the other hand, now I have to think on a way to pull up two tones in the air without jack in this hit.

I kept reminding myself: You are a king and the universe is your playground. I asked for a test and I got one because every king gets what he wishes for that’s all.”

Meanwhile the vipers in her royalty painting filled with the image of a hot dragon. Although the late hour and my minimal physic effort at my work I realized my back is sweating.

“As much as I tried I couldn’t think of a way to pull up that wheel. I kept smiling at myself. I knew there is a solution; I knew I’m going to find it soon like a logic riddle. OK: why do I need to pick up the wheel? So there will be space between it and the ground and I can pull it out. I observed that sentence over and over again until I found the extra word: To pick up. I don’t need to pick it up I just need a space between the wheel and the ground.

“A hole” I cold and almost had done with the grafting.

“Exactly. a hole under the wheel. But first I have to build from stones, two poles between the car’s body and the ground so I can dig without the wheel falling into the hall. A piece of work in that hit and in my time limitation but I already knew I solved the riddle. I carefully collected stones resting after every two stones. I was scared the most to open the roof above local lizards. It can be the most poisonings creature in the area. They are quick as a bullet. They have to run quickly other wise if they stay two seconds at one spot they burn their own legs. Luckily there were only snakes and scorpions and they felt no desire to come out to the sun at my direction. I put up the two poles. I tried digging and discovered that the ground is very stiff. I had to knock with a hummer on the pocketknife to grind millimeter by millimeter and rest every time. I urinated on the ground to soften it, I gathered the water that was dripping from the air condition and purred it there, after an hour or so I could take out the torn wheel and I still needed to dig for having enough space to put in the spar wheel that needs more space. Meanwhile the red light of the gasoline went on.”

I finished putting up the pipe. Opened the water tap and waited. It looks like I bit his royalty story.

“I returned with the spar wheel lied down and dig some more around and then I get two orange eyes staring at me. A huge lizard, one and a half meter, in the shadow under my truck one small step away from my face. I am already laying ther and we both look deep into each other eyes observing the situation. It had sharpen neck around its had and long sharpen tongue, her body covered scales. Nothing to add. A dragon. And it can demolish me within seconds.

You wouldn’t believe how in that entire hit all your blood can freeze within seconds and your nerve system screams inside your brain. And I’m looking at it, reminding myself: You got exactly what you wished for – as a king should. I am smiling to it and say out loud: Hello dragon, I’m the next king of Badulina. I am glad to provide you with some shadow in this boiling desert but within 2 minutes I will complete putting this wheel back and leave, Ok? It watches me and I feel it less tensed. It sees that I’m not a treat neither a pray and I continue my work relating to it as symbolic illustration not as deathly monster. And really, two seconds later, I finish and reinforce the screw, giving my goodbye and drives away with the last liter of my gasoline.”

The sink refill with water, much slowly then before, much less water but it won’t go through. I watch the king grumping. “Great story” I say “what do we do now?”

“We call a plumber of course” he says peacefully.

“That’s it? After all that I will lose to my dragon?”

“Our story isn’t over. Call a plumber for tomorrow morning and have no worries, you are fine.”

Looks like the queen accomplished her painting as well. There was a fire-dragon ther rapped with flames and vipers. Unbelievable how such a hell come out from such a gentle brush. I feel the entire universe is making fun of me.

The next morning I stick like a shadow to the plumber, a young guy that opens 20 blockings a day. No point in adding plumber details. He had the tools, he had the tricks and I learned all of them by heart. Basically it was all about long pipe that was penetrating the plunge and opened the block with water pressure. Once he left, the king finished the story.

“I felt like Badulina’s kingdom put a crown to my head. I saved my own life. With a great smile on my face I rode the dusty road. 10 Km away from the main road I hear a crash. I stop to check – My carburetor fell down and broke to half.

“So you didn’t win.”

“Yes I did and you too. Its not important. I threw it to my track reached Tijuana, found a Garage of two brothers that their most biggest joke was to burn each other arc with a Brenner at that hit, I drunk half box of beer with them and they fixed my car for pennies. You see- to become a king I am not supposed to be a special professional mechanic and you are not supposed to be a plumber. We just need not to become scared.

To realize that we always have an option that we are not helpless. A dragon is a dragon because of your fear. When you are not afraid it becomes a lizard. It’s not important if your plumber job was perfect or not. What’s important is that you went for it, that now you know you are not helpless. Next time you will know better and maybe even decide to call upon a plumber but it will not be because you think you have no choice, that you can’t. A king knows that he doesn’t need nothing or nobody but it doesn’t mean that we won’t let others help us. As long is it out of free choice. When the plumber came here this morning he didn’t come to kill a dragon anymore – as far as you concern. He is a more experienced plumber and you are not. He owned a longer pip and continued what you started. Your test was to cross the line , from now on you will not say you cant open blockings any more.

I pulled my shoulders. I must admit yesterday night I was thinking about the water pressure but I didn’t had it and it wasn’t so urgent any more. If my life stood against I could have improvised. We set at the living room. Her majesty was sitting at the sun flushed balcony between the pots. These hot days of December turns the area to a green house. I have no intention of saying what and how much she was wearing, I learn not to stare. But suddenly I saw her hot dragon, folded into a fan and she held it in her hand and was enjoying the cool waft.

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